HELLYES

In less than a month we will be freezing our asses off... and then we will have a Belgium waffle and drink from the chocolate fountain to put them back on. It's an evil cycle, you see. A deliciously seductive evil cycle. For real, you just walk into the shops and they give you chocolate for free. On trays. And you can choose anything you want. Heaven.

But since we are hanging out with the locals this time, we will probably be spending more time in bars than on the touristy things. Phew. We were worried for a second about getting lost in the chocolate shops, since we are coming back for a summer new years... And then there is also most of our time that we will be spending in Amsterdam. We were contemplating cycling around, until we realized it might be difficult to cycle in the snow while wearing all the jackets we own. So, trains it is then.

To be honest, not much of this trip has been planned. but I guess that's what makes it so exciting. That, and also finding the lucky people that are willing to spend Christmas with us. We are thinking maybe a family or some other lonesome tourists. Maybe someone with a boat that coincidentally also cooks a mean Christmas lunch. Too much? Oh well. Anyways. It will be great. We will feast on mulled wine and take aways (tinned food) and laugh and laugh and sing christmas carols all night long. Either way, I'm sure we will find something to do.

Please November, be over soon. Very soon indeed.

Kind regards,

Linel & Elizma

This Is Why You're Fat (Dot Com)

This used to be one of our favourite sites. Then it got banned. But now it's back and even more disgusting than ever. Check it out. It will keep you entertained for hours. Burger pizzas, Lasagna sandwiches, a whole chicken in a can!, a sandwich bigger than a baby, a Christmas tree of sausagges (amongst other things), and that's only the beginning... A world of obesity awaits.




































































































































Sheesh.

Who Would Have Guessed.

Ag Cute. That's what I first thought when I saw this. But oviously someone had to go and over complicate things again...

Eeeee Eee Eeee - Tao Lin (2007)

Formal Elements: The color palette is unnatural; it looks like a bear, but it’s bright pink. The bear is composed of crosshatched strokes, and the background is a pale green. The title of the book is in white sans-serif font…it is a very simple cover design, which in conjunction with the cryptic title it makes me wonder if it’s a complicated story.

Iconography + Intrinsic Meaning: Bears are used in imagery to represent a number of things, ranging from cuddly caretakers to nightmarish pursuers. Because the bear is in a gentle shade of pink, it’s uncertain if its meant to be a malicious or gentle bear. The scratches have a handmade appearance, whereas the typeface of the book is in sans-serif, lacking the humanist touch of a handmade typeface. Bears mean different things to different cultures; researching the culture the author, Tao Lin, is from might provide more understanding about his own influences and background. Obviously reading the story will ultimately (or hopefully) provide an explanation for the cover design.

All I'm saying is that's no gentle shade of pink. It might as well be about a bear who was raised by monkeys or some kind of educational book using only words that start with 'e'. And so forth. Anyways.

My First TV Ad

Hooray! Finally we get to make TV ads. Myself, Aadil and Gareth made this, with the help of Dave (Golden Planes) of course. (What do you know, it's the wolf pack all over again...) We even got to go to Cape Town to shoot it. This is why I love my job.

Mad Men Goes Mr. Men

I think I have mentioned before how much I love Mad Men. Also, now I like these.

Hey, Remember That Time We Had Friends?

Meet the gang. Once upon a time they were plenty and travelled in a pack and even had a wolf cry. Ok, only some of them. Anyways, that was nice. I miss those times. (This is Gareth's interpretation of the gang. Spot on Gareth. Spot on.)

Happy Halloween In The Room Where You Sleep

Its been about a year and I still can't get over this band... This is Dead Man's Bones. And yes, the lead singer looks familiar, because he is Ryan Gosling, the actor. And with him is his choir of little people, or children, dressed in halloween costumes. Damn, I wish I was that cool as a kid. Anyways, watch and admire and also kick yourself if you are a musician that you did not come up with this first. Truly ingenius.

What's Your Lekker Flavour?

So, earlier this year we had to do a short video clip for one of our clients. We had to walk around and ask people what flavour chips they would like if they could choose any flavour imaginable. Obviously there were the lame answers like 'steak and beef', 'steak and chips', 'hamburger and chips' etc. (like that is totally original) But every now and again you meet people with interesting ideas, like these two construction workers at the Rosebank mall. (Unfortunately I cannot remember their names)

I can truly say though that they were the most original out of everyone we interviewed. They invented the concept of ganja flavoured chips. Hmmm. Not sure how well that will sell, especially in schools... it will maybe be a hit on street corners... but A for effort guys! And also, they had brilliant smiles. I took this picture so you could see. Obviously they did not make the cut for the edit, because of the content being slightly frowned upon, but who cares. They were by far the most interesting people we met that day.

Best. Costume. Ever.

Halloween. The time of year where parents convince their little boys to dress like little girls. And their little girls to dress like whores. (This was my friend Coenie's status on Facebook - I love it, thanks Coenie)

I can't wait until my sister's kid is big enough so I can dress her up like this for Halloween. Or female Chucky or something...

Also, I would like to buy these shirts. The first one as a present for some people and the second for myself. And also as a present for some people. Actually, they should just start selling these at every major event at about 01:00 in the morning. It would save a lot of people a lot of embarrassment and explaining the next day. They can even sell them where they sell the hotdogs... cause you know when you go to buy a hotdog, it's that time of night...

Well then, i think I just found a way to fund by December holiday... shirts anyone? Find me by the hotdog stand. I'll be the person who is not tagged in any embarrassing moments on the internet. Use it, don't use it. Just saying. (But seriously, meet me by the hotdog stand. The code word is 'ketchup' )

Fun Times

So here is a sneak peak of the Velocity Party. What can I say? Photo booths just brings out the fun in everyone. That, and open bars and fresh ocean air, a view over camps bay, red and white stripes, mickey mouse ears, over sized bows, pirate tattoos... the list goes on, but i'm stopping here.

Just sayin.

Lalala

This has for years been one of my pieces of film. I love everything about this - the location, the wardrobe, the lighting, the choreography, the way they compliment each other so beautifully and how he seems to play her like an instrument. The music, the timing etc. Too beautiful. I mean, if you're into that kind of thing...

Monday In Your Face

I told you we became increasingly lazy... this is our second post for the whole of October... oh well. I blame it on global warming. And alcohol. And the fact that I reached the quarter century mark. Or temporary insanity at least. Whatever. Who cares...

On a completely different note, here is our current form of amusement... (FYI:Free wifi at home just never gets old). At the moment we are sitting in different rooms of the same house, searching for the funniest moments in the life of Dwight K. Schrute. (Or as he describes himself: D.W.I.G.H.T – Determined, Worker, Intense, Good worker, Hard worker, Terrific) And how funny!? He cracks us both up. Read this and laugh at him. Like we do. Best way to start a Monday, I'd say.

Here are the top 20 quotes by this man. Enjoy.

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

I am faster than 80% of all snakes.

I don’t care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.

I don’t believe you, continue.

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.

The eyes are the groin of the head.

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man

Before I do anything I ask myself “Would an idiot do that?” And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you don’t hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins aren’t smart. They just like pushing things.

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule #17- There are 3 things you never turn your back on- bears, men you have wronged, and a dominant male turkey during mating season

I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.

Question…

Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer…merciless…insatiable…

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther.

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won’t receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis….Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching.

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

Meanwhile Back At The Ranch

Ok, it's been holiday on our side and our laziness levels have increased alarmingly. But before we lost all ambition to excel at life, we decided it would be a great idea to go do some travelling over the December holidays. And the winning destinations are... Belgium and Amsterdam!

Belgium and Amsterdam? Why would we want to go there during the coldest time of the year? And why Belgium? It's like that movie 'In Bruges' all over again. Honestly.

Well, we are going to visit some friends, see some sights, meet some people and just wing it. Maybe we'll even take a few photos...

For now here are some other things I found on the internet while researching something completely different. Hard to say where its from. Will have to come back to you on that. My favourite is the 'not so happy bird' salt and pepper shakers.

True Dat

Renaissance Inspired

Right now we are laughing, pity we can't tell you why. Let's just say it's very funny if you knew the context you would be laughing too...

Other than that, here is something to think about. Two Toned Lips. Hmmm. Never thought of it before. Apparently this is how they did it in the renaissance. Apparently. Anyways, i guess it's worth a try.

Hippies.

Yes, sometimes people call us that. Or bohemian or whatever. A very flawed, but beautiful idea... As are most things in life. Like they used to say: 'Let's make love, not war.' Today Ryan gosling says: 'I wish we were magic, so we would not have to be so young and tragic.' We all want that freedom to break away from this world at times. Dreams, randomness and excitement. Sometimes too scared of the consequences of following our dreams. But then again, what's the worst that could happen?

Hooray For Public Holidays

It is Friday and also a public holiday! And my brother's birthday. And I am not even hung over. Finally it's the month of the Libra's. Sadly I only recently realized both myself and my brother are Libras... I never knew we had so much in common. Let the good times begin.

To kick off this month, here is a very long, very trippy tune... it sounds like what I imagine the next two weeks to feel like. Except it should not rain in Cape Town this time please...

Extreme dogs..?

Swearwords... Lots and Lots of Swearwords...

What do we have here? How about a series of unfortunate events. Some less unfortunate. Or maybe just an average month in a south african white female's life...

Scenario 1: Sitting and brainstorming with a colleague at your local hangout, a coffee shop (like advertising people do), coming up with ideas that will change the world as you know it and so forth. But for now, lets be modest and say 'sitting there minding your own business.' All of a sudden a well-dressed Mozambican man walks up to you and asks for money. Nothing strange, people ask you for money every day. And then *BOOM* he shows you his arm, the bone sticking out and blood running down his hand (gag reflex). We have all been scammed before into giving people money, but there is no way a man can fake an arm like that. (Apparently he was mugged and beaten with a stick in town and the hospital can't help him cause he's not a citizen and he has no money). You help the man. He is so overwhelmed, he almost starts crying. (That sight will haunt you for years... like that cat you killed by accident when you were little... still, good deed: CHECK)

Scenario 2: Being interrogated by a russian woman. While out doing research for a new fashion label, the woman pounce on you and demands to know how much experience you have, as obviously you look like you just finished school. After which you walk into a modeling casting by accident, turn around in your tracks, walk out and buy some Starbucks coffee that isn't great, while the people at the restaurant laugh at you. You check to see if there is something on your head or if maybe you have a big hole in your stockings, but alas no. It's just you. FACT: If you ever want to lose some confidence, go to small upperclass Sandton centres in a normal outfit without perfect hair. Needless to say, that night you go for a haircut, decide to start power dressing and consider going on a diet.

Scenario 3, 4 and 5: Cannot be explained in detail due to the nature of it's contents. Let's just say, you are looking at your life. Again.

Scenario 6: Your baby sister is having a baby. Ok, she is almost 23, but you still find that very young. It took you 7months to process the idea, but finally you are very excited. You saw sonograms, felt an arm or leg or something and can see te child sitting there inside her stomach. In about 2 months you will be an aunt. You will have someone to buy those little shoes for... or a bear suit... or make bows for. Who thought that would ever be so exciting...

Scenario 7: Breaking into your own office at 6 in the morning. Stupid tag thing not working, Security company coming out to check why the alarm went off. Colleague using the 'blindly looking for the button on the wall with a broomstick' technique, which eventually works, leaving you with very little time to finish an urgent presentation.

Scenario 8: Being punked. Being set up on a 'blind date', actually knowing who the guy is, trying to humour the situation, but sheesh... huh-uh. Yes, it's is that bad.

Scenario 9: Your landlord taking away your tv (which actually belongs to him - but giving someone who is used to crappy tv DSTV for a month and then taking it away, can make them very sad). Now you'll never know what happened in Apprentice or whether the Wife Swop between the body builder family and the 'little people' family was funny or not.

Scenario 10: The universe trying everything in it's power to stop you from doing something stupid, but you know you are going to do it anyway. Oh well... :)

Scenario 11: Realizing you are a much better person on paper than in reality. Then telling your parents jokingly you want to be James Bond when you grow up so you can drive an Aston Martin and drink Vodka Martinis the whole day, and them being so excited you want to change your career that they encourage you to go for it... hmmm...

Scenario 12: Going through your playlist and listening to songs by ex boys and friends. So many good memories.

Scenario 12: Going to Cape Town this weekend! And again the next weekend! And maybe staying there for a while... you have not booked a ticked back yet... Hello Holiday.

"Hands On The Wheel...

huh-uh... fuck that. Everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold". Thanks Kid Cudi. That pretty much sums up how i feel after this roller-coaster of a week. Not sure how this is going to turn out, but who cares... it's weekend!

I couldn't decide which one to post, the original or the cover... So here's both.

I Challenge the Infant to a Game of Checkers to the Death

The man says it all in the first picture. How funny? I would like to meet this man, we will laugh for hours... See more here.